It’s Good to Help Others

Our culture tends to associate happiness with getting something.   Why should we humans be programmed to respond so positively to giving?

Group selection played a strong rule in human evolution.   If something like helping benefits the group, it will be associated with pleasure and happiness. While evolution may have primed us to feel good from giving, it may not be the only reason helping others makes us feel better.   Since depression, anxiety, and stress involve a high degree of focus on the self, focusing on the needs of others literally helps shift our thinking.  

When you’re experiencing compassion, benevolence, and kindness, they push aside the negative emotions.   One of the best ways to overcome stress is to do something to help someone else.

Even better, feeling good and doing good can combine to create a positive feedback loop, where doing good helps us to feel good and feeling good also makes us more likely to do good.   

Numerous studies have found that happy people are more helpful as well. Those who've just found money in a phone booth are more likely to help a passerby with dropped papers.  Those who feel successful are more likely to volunteer as a tutor.

It’s crucial in life to help others in life. In essence, not only does it make us feel good, it makes the other party feel good. It gives you a sense of fulfillment, and also creates a better feeling for the individual you’re helping. Whether it be donating, mentoring, or just giving someone a kind smile its good for our personal health and all around karma.

Remember, giving is a great way to help you feel all around good about yourself.  It almost always helps the other party feel great as well. 

II Corinthians 9:7 says "Every man according as he purposes in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver."  So give because you want to not because you have to.  It does not have the same effect on your emotions or your health.  If you do it grudgingly you are unhappy and you will have resentment in your heart.

There are big things you can do like donating your time and knowledge by mentoring. You can also do small things like being there for a close friend or just giving someone a warm smile while walking down the street.  You can become a mentor to a child or an adult.  You can help a competitor to become better.  You can be unselfish in all you do.  You will be amazed at the joy and happiness that will come into your life.  We have a natural instinct to want to help others so get started today!  Help others in order to help yourself!

Do you volunteer?  Share with us in the comments section.   Does your organization need more workers?  Let us know how one of our readers can help. 

In Gratitude,
Beverly

Beverly F. Jones
Inspirational speaker on prosperity and abundance

Join me once a month the Commanding Your Life Telecircle.  Go to http://www.meetup.com/CommandingYourLife and join our group to get the time and
telephone number.

Click here to follow me on Twitter.

Click Here for Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Michael Beckwith's "The Science of Getting Rich" program

Twenty Ways You Can Help Others to Help Yourself

Last post I talked about how we are detached from each other and I promised you an incomplete list of things that you can do to re-engage.  Here they are:

1. Smile and be friendly. Some of the time a simple brief things like this can put a smile and caring feeling in someone else’s heart, and make their day a bit better. They could then do the same for other people.

 

2. Call a charity to volunteer. You do not have to go to a soup kitchen today. Just search the number, make the call, and make an appointment to volunteer sometime in the next month. It can be any charity you like. Volunteering is among the most amazing things you're able to do.

3. Donate something you don't use. Or a whole box of some things. Drop them off at a charity - other people can put your clutter to great use.

4. Make a donation. There are dozens of ways to donate to charities online, or in your local community. Instead of buying yourself a new gadget or outfit, spend that money in a more positive way.

5. Redirect gifts. Instead of having people give you birthday or Christmas gifts ask them to donate gifts or money to a special charity.

6. Stop to help. The next time you see someone pulled over with a flat, or somehow in need of help, stop and ask how you're able to help. Sometimes all they need is a push, or the use of your cell phone.

7. Teach. Take the time to teach somebody a skill you know. This could be teaching your grandma to use email, teaching your baby to ride a bike, teaching your co-worker a useful computer skill, teaching your spouse how to clean the darn toilet. OK, that last one does not count.

8. Comfort somebody in grief. Often a hug, a helpful hand, a kind word, a listening ear, will go a long way when somebody has lost a loved one or suffered some similar loss or tragedy.

 

9. Help them take action. If somebody in grief seems to be lost and does not know what to do, help them do something. It could be making funeral arrangements, it could be making a doctor’s appointment, it could be making telephone calls don’t do it all yourself - let them take action too, because it helps in the healing process.

10. Buy food for a homeless person. Cash is often a bad idea if it is going to be used for drugs, but buying a sandwich and chips or something like that is a good gesture. Be respectful and friendly.

11. Lend your ear. Often somebody who's sad, depressed, angry, or frustrated just needs somebody who will listen. Venting and talking through an issue is a major help.

12. Help somebody on the edge. If somebody is suicidal, urge them to get help. If they do not, call a suicide hotline or physician yourself to get advice.

13. Help somebody get active. An individual in your life who would like to get healthy might need a helping hand - offer to go walking or running together, to join a gym together. Once they get started, it can have fundamental effects.

14. Do a chore. You can do something little or big, like tidying up, washing a car, or doing the dishes.

15. Create a care package. Soup, reading material, tea, chocolate … anything you can think of the person might need or enjoy. Good for someone who is sick or otherwise in need of a pick-me-up.

16. Send a kind email. Just a quick note telling somebody how much you value them, or how proud you are of them.

17. Show appreciation, in public. You can Praise somebody on a blog, in front of coworkers, in front of family, or in some other public way. It’s a great way to make them feel good about themselves.

 18. Donate food. Clear out your cupboard or buy a couple bags of groceries, and donate them to a shelter.

 19. Just be there. When someone you know is in need, sometimes it’s just good to be there. Sit with them. Talk. Help out if you can.

20. Be patient. Sometimes people can have difficulty understanding things, or learning to do something right. Learn to be patient with them.  A hug, a kind word, spending time, showing little kindnesses, being friendly, it all matters more than you know.

In Gratitude,
Beverly

Beverly F. Jones
Inspirational speaker and trainer on prosperity and abundance

Join me once a month the Commanding Your Life Telecircle.  Go to http://www.meetup.com/CommandingYourLife and join our group to get the time and telephone number.

Click here to follow me on Twitter.

Click Here for Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Michael Beckwith's "The Science of Getting Rich" program

Why We Are So Detached?

Too frequently the trend in our society is for individuals to be detached from one another. Automobiles have taken us off the streets, where we used to greet each other and stop to chit chat. Cubicles have removed a bit of the humanity in working, as have factories and even computers to some extent.


Television has planted us firmly in our living rooms, instead of out with other people. Even movie theaters, where many people get together, cut us off from true conversation because we’re staring at a big screen. You could also add to the list cell phones and social networks. It takes away from face o face conversation.


And while I’m not railing against any of these inventions (except perhaps the cubicle), what we must stay away from is the tendency to be focused on ourselves too much. This only results in being detached from our fellow human beings. We have a tendency towards selfishness rather than giving to or helping our brothers and sisters in humanity. I’m not saying we’re all like that, but it can happen, if we’re not careful.

This can be true when we are networking with business professionals.  The tendency to use voicemail, and email to communicate, exclusively can be our downfall.  As you go to networking events and you meet new people find a way to make face to face contact.  Schedule a time when you can talk over coffee or while your having lunch.   Learn as much as you can about the person across from you because someday, in some manner you may be able to help them.  It may be personally or professionally but make the meeting about them, not you.
So strike back against the selfishness and greed of our modern world, and help out a fellow human being today. Not next month, but today. Helping a fellow human being, while it can be inconvenient, has a few humble advantages:


1. It makes you feel better about yourself.


2. It connects you with another person, at least for a moment, if not for life.


3. It improves the life of another, at least a little.


4. It makes the world a better place, one little step at a time.


5. And if that kindness is passed on, it can multiply, and multiply.


So take just a few minutes today, and do a kindness for another person. It can be something small or the start of something big. Ask them to pay it forward. Put a smile on someone’s face. Don’t know where to start? Next post I will give you an extremely incomplete list, just to get you thinking — I’m sure you can come up with thousands more if you think about it.


In Gratitude,
Beverly
Inspirational speaker on prosperity and abundance





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You Cannot Ask for Something Bad to Happen

I have been reading several books by Jose Silva and he tells us that “We cannot ask for something that the creator would disapprove of.”    Mr. Silva researched successful people for over 20 years and discovered that those who were successful operated in the Alpha state of mind and also dipped deeper into Theta.  Jose Silva’s favorite quotation was  “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and function within God’s righteousness, then all else will be added unto you.”  

This comes from Matthew 6:33.  Mr Silva interpreted the “kingdom of heaven” to be the alpha level, an inner kingdom that you reach by becoming similar to a child - brain-wise.  By finding out what your purpose is and what problems The Creator wants you to work on will give the result of “all else will be added unto you.”  In other words find your purpose, living a purpose driven life, do it whether it pays well or not.  You will be taken care of in many ways.

He tells the story of spending much time healing a gentleman.  He made many trips to see him over a months time.  A friend asked if the man had at least offered to cover Jose’s expenses and how much had Jose spent.  Jose said the man had not paid him and that he didn’t care. The expenditures had been about $500.   A few days later he went with his wife to a Bingo game.  He did this mainly to spend time with his wife.  He, of course, played.  That night he won the jackpot which was, you guess it $500.

Jose believed that when we are in alpha/theta we cannot ask for something that would not be to the Creators Glory or against his principles.  I believe this.  Just think about how it feels when you even consider asking for something wrong.  Consider how you feel when you are asking for help, guidance or forgiveness.  You are contrite and humble.

Have you ever tried to ask for something bad to happen to someone?  You can’t.  I know you may have asked that they get what they deserve.  Why can’t you ask for something bad to happen?  Because you know that it is not right.  You know that when it gets down to it, you can only ask for good to come to someone.   Sometimes you want that person to be out of your life.   Let’s say you have a manager who is just terrible and that he or she does not have a clue on how to motivate people.  Would you ask that the boss get fired?   I know your Beta self wants that but realistically would you ask the Creator to make things happen so that they would be fired.  No!  Would you ask that they get sick?  No.  So what would you ask for?

I am thinking you want to ask for the manager to be trained on managing his people or that he gets a promotion that does not require him to manage people.  In other words you ask for the managers highest and best good.

John 15:7-8 says:  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.


Do you know your purpose?  If not would you like to know?  Is there someone or something in your life you want to change, remove, or improve?  Is it something that causes you pain or difficulties?   What do you really want that is good and gracious and would be a positive influence in the world?  Using The One Command you can just Ask.

If you are not familiar with the one command, you can read the book by Asara Lovejoy.  You can get it at the link to the left.

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The Law of Gratitude: How It Affects Your Life

Kim Serafini has a fantastic blog about Gratitude.   Drop by and see what she has to say. 
The Law of Gratitude: How It Affects Your Life Thankfulness, Appreciation, Gratitude and Gift Giving

In Gratitude,
Beverly
Inspirational speaker on prosperity and abundance
Click here to follow me on Twitter.

Click Here for Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Michael Beckwith's "The Science of Getting Rich" program

Your Hurting Inner Child

Many times we wonder why we react to things the way we do.  We look back and chastise ourselves for the way we handled a situation.  We also find ourselves doing things in a certain way and wonder why.

In many instances our actions and the way we react is routed in our childhood. 

In an article on Yahoo News, researchers were observing third to sixth graders on the playground.  They were entering gossip into their PDA's.  Such as: "Is the cootie girl in your class?" and "Did you hear Dan cheated on the exam?"  They watched as children stood in a group and conspicuously pointed and laughed at another student.   Guess what?  Girls were more often the source and the target of gossip.  It didn't ease up as they got older it actually spiked in sixth grade.  (http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/anti-bullying-program-quashes-playground-gossip)

I remember those years when I was the object of gossip and it hurt me into my adult years.  Many of you have the same issue.  I was teased about my looks, my singing voice, my strict parents and I had no way of combating the pain that I even remember to this day.  I was determined to prove all of them wrong and I set on a course that has affected me most of my life.

What can we do about clearing the lessons learned as a helpless child and begin to change the way we react to issues in our lives?  We can mentally go back and help our Inner Child to know that s/he is now safe and has no need to fear.   You see, your Inner Child is also your subconscious mind at work. 

There is no past or future there is only NOW.  When you think about what you ate for dinner yesterday, you can almost taste the food or feel the atmosphere of where you were.  Physically you are experiencing that thought as though it was happening now.  The same with the things of your childhood.

When you were a child you had to develop some type of coping mechanism to allow you to deal with any problem, issue, hurt, abuse, etc in your life.  Because you were not an adult, you did not have the skills that you have today.   The way you coped became a part of you and part of your subconscious.

A meditative method for changing this is to visualize going back and talking with your Hurting Inner Child and discuss the hurt, tell your child that they don't have to worry any more.  You are there to take care of them.  They do not have to do the things or react the way they had in the past.  It is time to allow the Adult to take conscious control   It may take several meditations to get through many of the issues that your subconscious is controlling.  Rest assured you can go back and make the change.

As you work through each issue that you feel is holding you back or keeping you from growing, replace the pain, the hurt, and any other feelings with love, joy, happiness, confidence, etc.  Where there is an emotional void we must fill it with what we want instead of what was there before.

If you would like to get a free mp3 of a guided meditation that talks to your Inner Child enter your information into the newsletter sign-up box on the right.

In Gratitude,
Beverly
Inspirational speaker on prosperity and abundance
Click here to follow me on Twitter.

Click Here for Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Michael Beckwith's "The Science of Getting Rich" program

Search Amazon.com for Inner Child Meditation

Resolutions for 2011

How many of us have made "Resolutions"? Most of us will have broken several of them before the end of the week. This of course is normal. Statistics show that only about 15% of New Years goals are maintained.

The definition of resolution says: the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, or procedure. Wikipedia defines a New Year's resolution as a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. It is a commitment for change that normally has the word "hard" associated with the item.

Unfortunately most New Year’s Resolutions are expected to be broken. They come in the form of habit modifications. Quitting smoking, hitting the gym and staying organized are all based on routine habits. We keep trying and trying not realizing we have issues that need to be resolved (fixed) first.
　
Now let’s look at my favorite word - Intention - Intentional behavior can be thoughtful and deliberate goal-directed-ness. As a person’s intention to perform an action is his or her specific purpose in doing so, the end or goal that is aimed at, or to fix the mind upon (something to be accomplished).

For me setting an intention is more powerful than making a resolution. It even sounds more powerful with its meaning "to fix the mind upon." Do you know that another meaning for resolve is "to solve again". As I have to re-solve the problem again with new options. So every year people have to RE-solve to make the same changes again and again.

James Allen says, "Circumstance does not make a man, it reveals him to himself'." What you have in your life is a reflection of your thoughts.  As you take responsibility for your life, you are able to change it.  Take responsibility for of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes that are creating your world and choose what you want instead.

Wouldn’t it be nice to set an intention; make the command; receive inspired actions and not have to RE-solve next year.

So are you ready to set your intentions for 2011?  First let’s look at the Manifesting Process:

Step 1. Clarify your intention, write it down and then set it. For example ‘I intend to reduce my weight by 20 lbs this year and not regain it’. As clearly as possible, visualize how it would be when this occurs. What do you look like? How do your close fit? What will your friends and family say? How do you feel?

Step 2. Is this what you really want. Ask yourself "What if I lost 20 lbs would I enjoy the my new look? Will my life change? What would I do different?. Etc. Does your love one like you as you are and would the change in you make them happy? Or do they have an issue with themselves that would manifest with your change? Is this what you really want? If it isn’t then throw it away and think of what you truly want.

Step 3.). If you have any limiting beliefs concerning your intention you cannot manifest what you desire. (I tried to lose weight last year and I failed. I just can’t lose this weight.)

Step 4. Formulate your One Command (your intention, your resolution) to remove the limitations and to ask for what you want.

Step 5. Do the six steps of The One Command. Be grateful and thankful and know that it is yours. This is a very simple process.

We still need to take action by putting into place the things that will cause the appropriate reaction. Some helpful hints are:

1. Replace a lost need. Most habits fulfill a purpose of some kind, even if the side-effects are damaging. You might watch television to relax, even if you have other things you would rather do. You might eat junk food to feel full, even if it isn’t healthy. Or you may eat because you are bored. Consider what you're giving up in your habit change and make an effort to replace those lost needs. Go for a walk when boredom sets in or put on music and dance. Have something that needs cleaning. Do it and not eat.

2. Commit for a Month. Stick to your change for at the very least thirty days. Less than this and you're likely to fall back into old habits. Three to four weeks is all it takes to shape a new habit.

3. Keep a Journal. Go to the discount store and find yourself the best expensive looking journal you can find. You are more likely to write in it.  Think Brigett Jones Diary!! (Tuesday Morning or a place here in Pa called Ollie’s Outlet and I found leather bound or pleather bound journals for about $2).  Or open a new word document and commit to writing a couple of sentences every day about your progress.  I have found keeping a journal helpful in reminding me about my intention and commitment. It helps center on the change I commanded to achieve. When I record what I do, I can’t ignore it.

4. Increase Positive Feedback. If you reward your behavior it will increase. (Give yourself 1 night for a small indulgence when you have followed your intention for 7 days in a row). Punish a behavior and it will be reduced. (Have to walk an extra mile for each time I am over my calorie limit). This feedback mechanism is common to all animals with a nervous system from sea slugs to human beings. If your new habit makes you feel worse than the old habits, it can’t last. Do something that makes the new habit (which is good for you) a pleasure. If it is changing your eating habits, set the table with your best china. Put your food in serving bowls or if portions are a problem, use a small plate and serve it in the kitchen and then put the excess food away.

5. Think years, not months. A diet that consists of grapefruit and water isn’t going to provide nutritional needs to last your whole life. Work on creating changes to your diet, work, exercise or routines that can be sustained for years. Crash diets and 18-hour workdays will eventually break.

6. Be grateful everyday for the progress you have made. Record it in your Journal.

It is nice to be able to live life without fear and anxiety and not have to Re-Solve the issue.   Using The One Command and its 6 step process help you make it easily and effortlessly. 
　
Ben Stein says: The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

I want you to have an inspired 2011 and may you realize all of your intentions.

In Gratitude,
Beverly
Inspirational speaker on prosperity and abundance
Click here to follow me on Twitter.

Search Amazon.com for The One Command by Asara Lovejoy

Click Here for Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Michael Beckwith's "The Science of Getting Rich" program